Psalm 51:1-5 (Lectionary Translation)

1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your loving-kindness; *
in your great compassion blot out my offenses.

2 Wash me through and through from my wickedness *
and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions, *
and my sin is ever before me.

4 Against you only have I sinned *
and done what is evil in your sight.

5 And so you are justified when you speak *
and upright in your judgment.

PSALM 51: 1-6
A New Rendering from the Hebrew

REMORSE AND FORGIVENESS

1 From the Director’s Collection:
A Song of David,

2 when Nathan the Prophet sought him out,
after he had slept with Bathsheba.

3 Stay close, stay near, and be my Strength,
don’t leave me now as if I can’t arouse your yearning still,
as if you can’t erase the revolting pain of what I’ve done.

4 Stay close and tread me deep;
over and over, tread until I’m clean.
And even as I walk, again and again, my erring way,
your face’s sheer and glowing emptiness
may light the very path I miss.

5 Deep down I know it well: it is myself I have betrayed,
always groping through my inner maze,
against my own soul’s compass bent.

6 And still it’s only you alone I wander far to find,
only your deep desire I yearn to satisfy.
And even if I have no right, I turn and turn again to you –
and – oh! – to the saving words I long to hear you say.

NOTES ON THE TEXT

My rendering is based on the Hebrew Masoretic Text (MT), where the verse numbers are different from the lectionary and some other English translations.

Verses 1-2: The first two verses are “superscripts,” placing the psalm squarely in a narrative context, which is critical for understanding the “penitential” tone. King David betrays his brother-in-arms Uriah by sleeping with Uriah’s wife Bathsheba, and then arranges to have Uriah killed. David is finally confronted by Nathan the Prophet, and is overcome with remorse for what he has done. This poem, then, is about gut-level emotions: betrayal, remorse, pleading, self-hatred, and an eventual ray of hope and forgiveness.

Vs. 3 “Stay close…yearning”: The root hnn (“grace”) has connotations of yearning, longing and comforting, and always harmonizes with rhm (“womb-love”), which is experienced as a deep desire to give and receive limitless comfort.

“… be my Strength”: rendering ‘elohim as “Strength.” Uriah was, in fact, David’s trusted “strong man.” Is David addressing this prayer to the divine or to the human? In Jewish theology, even God cannot pardon our betrayal of a fellow human being; only the offended person can grant such forgiveness.

“… revolting pain”: The root meaning of psh’ (pasha’) is rebellion or revolt. The fact of a crime or betrayal is – to use an English idiom – “revolting” to the conscience.

Vs. 4 “… tread me deep, over and over…”: The best sense of kbs (often translated “wash”) is the verb for treading, whether stamping on grapes to make wine, or on clothing to make it clean. The adverb harbeh (“much”) is really a verb: “do it over and over…” This intentional “treading” contrasts with “erring.”

“…even as I walk… my erring way”: The sense of ht’ (hata’ – usually translated “sin”) is originally to err – that is, to “miss the way,” or “miss the mark.” Erring is not “lighter” than sin, nor does it exonerate the sinful poet in this psalm. Rather, the poet’s betrayal is understood as a profound lack of inner direction.

Your face’s sheer and glowing emptiness: The Aramaic cognate tehar (“emptiness”) resonates with tihara’ (“brightness”). In Psalm 89:45 (hishbatta mitoharo) the root seems to mean “lustre.” The remorseful poet is hoping for a glance of forgiveness, and even the “emptiness” of the beloved’s angry face is brighter and more comforting than utter absence.

Vs. 5 “…myself I have betrayed”: Here I render psh’ (pesha’) as betrayal, since this is the “revolting truth” that has been revealed in the poet’s actions. Four of the six words in verse 5 end in suffixes pointing to “I” (“myself”) – there is deep introspection here. Most translations read negdi as “in front of me” or “before me.” This misses the intimacy of the word, exemplified especially in Genesis 2:18, where the woman is ‘ezer kenegdo to the man – that is, “equal to his very self.”

“…my inner maze… my soul’s compass”: The Hebrew has “I wander always against myself.” In my rendering, I use “maze” and “compass” as metaphors for the same idea.

Vs. 6 “…only you alone…”: Here there is a distinct counterpoint to the introspective remorse of the previous verse. Now there is hope, but only in the Beloved Other, the very one who has been so deeply betrayed. In verse 6, the suffixes for “I” are balanced with suffixes for “you.”

“…only your deep desire”: The Hebrew root r’h (ra’ah: “desire”/ “close friend”) is often confused with r’’ (ra’a or ro’a: “badness” / “evil”). Most translations insist here on “evil I have done” since this is, after all, a psalm of remorse. However, I read here rather “your desire I do.” The guilt-burdened poet offers an act of love that goes beyond a confession. Forgiveness is possible, but only because the wounded beloved can still desire the wounding poet’s love, in spite of everything.

[Rendered from the Hebrew by Henry Ralph Carse;